A Real Good Time -OR- Starting a Jim Stafford/ Spiders and Snakes Revival

I'd just got into town, I didn't have nothing to do,
when I happened across this telephone booth, with
a whole buncha writing covering one en-tire wall.

It said if you ain't afraid to spend a dime and if you wanna have a real good time, just give Lucille a call.

Ah, underneath her number was this big long list, said she'd do that and it said she'd do this.
I let my fingers do the walking through all kind of stuff I'd missed. Hoo whee!

I shuffled through my pockets `til I found myself a dime. I heard a ring or two and I got her on the line. n' I said Lucille I'd like to have a real good time.

Mighta found a lover. Mighta made a new friend.
Well I ain't had a real good time, since I don't know when.

She said "who are you and what is this"? I said, "this is Jim, Lucille and it's about this list" which I begin to read with par-tic-u-lar emphasis, on my favorite numbers.
One, five, eleven, fourteen, twenty-two, thirty-three and forty-one through fifty nine.

She said "where are you?" and I gave her the street.
She said "you sound like a guy I'd love to meet". She said, "Stay right where you are and I promise you a REAL Good Time!"

Mighta found a lover, mighta made a new friend,
Well I ain't had a real good time since I don't know when.

`bout fifteen minutes after my arrest, in the middle of the questions I tried to protest! that I wasn't that man of the obscense phone calls or master of crime.

Well, they took me away, they allowed me one call...
and I re-called that number on the phone booth wall,
and I said, Lucille? me and you got an altogether different idea about a REAL good time.

I lost my lover, I lost my new friend.
Hey, you can't have a real good time, doing one to ten.

Hello Lucille?, listen here honey, Uh, I was wondering... I'm gonna be tied up for quite a while here an uh...
I was wondering... oh maybe in about ten years or so... if you'd mind if I gave you a call... Hello? Lucille? Hello?
Hello?