Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Every Good Blogger Seems To Have One -OR- In THIS Corner...

I suppose, if I mean to be a serious contender in this game, I need a high-profile, highly-ranked and touted punching bag. Somebody, out of the over-populated field of pontificating poltroons, upon whom I, from my cheap seat in the bullpen, can get a regular work-out, a smooth, workman, sweaty take-down that would display the genuine disservice my targets' regular employment as occupiers of the "public opinion" square represents. Dissecting their latest untethered absurdities, questioning their sanities, their loyalties, their poor analogies, word choices and grammar. Punch, counter-punch, "Jane you ignorant slut" dramedy worthy of regular readership fandom.

The problem I've encountered in this approach, is not that so many other blogs have beat me to the punch, it's more that I feel positively unsanitary by paragraph two of whatever I have attempted to read and can't fight back the urge to vomit, projectile style, polluting my own environment.

It is so sad and soul-crushing to tune in on the latest edition of what's presented as insightful, thought-inducing PAID verbiage and get an immediate, overwhelming quease all over from which curling into the fetal position is the only relief.

My "drafts" folder is brimming with beginnings. Staking out the untethered idea-lambs that reflect the days' expert analysis of our shared present situations and circumstances; all of which lead to the writers' repetitive, redundant inescapable conclusions. I know why they are wrong. The main failing being that they all begin and rely on a myth, false premise or outright lie.

Examples? Do you really need me to provide? Well, okay, if you insist. Oh shit, where's my barf bag? Excuse me whilst I swap out another keyboard and gargle a bit of

I need a stronger stomach for swill or I must find a vein of previously untapped cuteness. Hedgehogs perhaps?

1 comment:

matt jacob said...

you just gotta keep on writing and stop reading their bullshit!