Tuesday, September 13, 2011

In the Grand Scheme of Things -OR- It's a Jungle Out There

Once again, I've been remiss. I passed the 900 mark for posts back in July and didn't realize it until today. I should feel something. Some sense of accomplishment. A warm fuzzy feeling that I've contributed my little speck to the larger discourse? Except that the larger discourse has gone severely off-course. The precepts, concepts and arguments bouncing around have no loci.

It's easy to begin a post about the insanity of this or that synapse jolting stoopid in the daily churn. It's difficult to sustain that, logically, to a conclusion, solution, suggestion of where to go from here. When you start from blowhole stoopid, where does one go? Sure, I can blast out 800 words on teh stoopid. I could toss my cookies into the spectrum of spotlighting the (select one) amazing, dumbfounding, awe inspiring posts being bled out by bloggers journalists around the web. I'm still reading a ton of stuff at my blogroll and elsewhere that feeds and nourishes me, but the effect is short-lived. Nothing changes. We're locked in.

There has to be a valid reason, when most people generally agree that it's FUBAR, that it continues, without pause, without real concern from those tasked with fixing shit. Of course the immediate reason is that it doesn't materially affect them or a sufficient number of "us" to merit their attention. Bigger fish to fry and all...

To what end? For what purpose? At whose behest? For most intents and purposes I am no longer in "the game". I'm lucky that I have a wife who understands. I've had hiatuses before. I did the stay-at-home dad thing. I was a "room mom". I picked up odd-jobs and short-term assignments between career building, that closed the gaps, spackled the cracks and provided the extras and etceteras while allowing us the LUXURY of actually parenting our progeny. After my last separation, I dutifully jumped right back into the job market... Talk about your "brave new worlds". Over qualified? One might think that would be a good thing to be. My salary expectations may have been assumed, but they were never disclosed or discussed.

First, I quit going on cattle calls. The last thing I needed to do was sit in a room full of varying levels of desperation and apprehension. No need to compare notes on how miserably fucked we all were presently or how the sun would indeed come out tomorrow.

For a while I concentrated on niche resumes for specific positions that may or may not have been advertised. I wrote proposals of what I could bring to the "team".

That strategy lead to some informal interviews and networking that were hopeful, but fruitless.

My last formal interview, was my last. At least for the near-term. I was one of four candidates being invited in. I'd met the others before and had heard the intimate details of their difficulties in the current job market. When I arrived, I was told that I was first in line. After a brief overview of what my special purpose would be, I politely told the HR interviewer to remove me from consideration. I told her that while I could do the job, and the pay was acceptable, I would prefer that the job be given to one of the others. If it was my choice to make it would be Mike. A great guy who NEEDS the job to keep his family intact. We spent the rest of my time talking about Mike's qualifications, his situation and his general likability.
He did get the job.

As I see it, it was the right thing to do.

I have more than enough projects to distract me from thinking like a statistic. At some point, something will come along, but I'm no longer pursuing, competing or groveling for employment. This comes at a price, but it's a price we can pay without scouting for bridges to live under.

I'm eight years from retirement and already semi-retired. We will survive.
I sort of feel the same way about my efforts here. I've decided to publish my draft folder. Maybe somebody else will stumble across the seedlings and find a meal.
This too shall pass.

I'll be concentrating on, but mostly not posting about, local problems, annoyances and idjits. I have the time and ability to call them on their bullshit, so that's where I feel my "talents" are most needed. This isn't my first rodeo.

I'll be poking around and when I find something worthy, I will assuredly add it to my portfolio here. Weekly, Monthly? Weakly? Mothly? Thanks to those who've stopped by and included my musings in their hunting gathering process. I'll leave the light on for you.


matt jacob said...

where do you plan to "I've decided to publish my draft folder." i also hope you decide to do longer pieces. you've got a lot to say and ought "to say it loud."

amber ladeira said...


--What a noble act! Too bad the
rest of the world doesn't run that
way. Congratulations on your 900,
an awesome achievement. (I haven't yet written 100.)

I agree with Matt Jacobs, fire off when ready! You know I admire and agree with most of your concerns and notions. Just one point, though: everything on this planet is so inter-connected that even the big shots will eventually get bitten in the butt by their various maladroit measures, which they usually don't realize until it actually happens.

We'll leave the porch light on for you as well, buddy.

Best to you and yours, A.