Holy Fucknola Batman! -OR- The Hippies' Test Scores Rise Again!

In the aftermath of natural and man-made disaster after disaster, there is a near immediate response that figuring out why things happen will have to wait until the search and rescue, search and recovery and rubble removal functions have completed. Then there must be a respectful period of mourning for the losses suffered. Only then can we.... Oh Crap! There goes another one.... Lather, Rinse, REPEAT.

In the absence of an actual emergency, one will be provided. (And people say our manufacturing base is dismantled?) Spun out of whole cloth if necessary, no expense will be spared to provide you with your mandatory daily requirement of mind-numbing FEAR, CONFUSION and DISTRACTION.

It's always been thus, right? You don't remember a time when this call and response exercise was less dire on a daily basis, do you? Hey! No time for nostaligia. There's an emergency happening! If you're assigned to hand-wringing, assemble in the large auditorium. Those chosen to run in circles, scream and shout, should report immediately to the football field. Finger-pointers and blamers, report to the main office.

Peer upward to your leaders! Purty ain't they? Competent? Not so much, but cosmetically FLAWLESS! Carry on! You will be notified when the `B' Ark begins loading.

We now return you to American Idol, already in progress....

Okay America! It's time to VOTE!
Text 1 for Douchebag #1.
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