Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Weird Scenes -OR- Just A Bozo On This Bus

"Look! The pyramid is opening."
"Which one?"
"The one with the ever widening HOLE in it!"

Clever dialog like this drew me to the Firesign Theater albums. The above is neither my favorite FST exchange nor
particularly relevant to this missive. It's a drop-in. An aside. Bait. Chum. Bits and pieces.

I haven't played a FST album in many years. No "Waiting For The Electrician or Someone Like Him", No "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers", No "I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus". No "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once"... No need. The tracks are indelibly etched into my brain.

"Shoes for Industry Compadre."

Around the FST phase of my education there was another comedy troupe known as "The Congress of Wonders" who released an album titled "Revolting". I've encountered other Firesignians over the years, but rarely encounter a fellow Wonderer. I'm sure they exist. They must. It's the only explanation for finding "projects" based on "Revolting" on YouTube.

The plot of "Star Trip" is simple. While traveling through space, the starship collides with a Space Turkey which knocks it off course. The off-course distances grow rapidly.
May I remind you that since we are traveling at a rate of Warped Factor 3, that our collision with that turkey, thirty-eight seconds ago, has put us 13 billion miles off course.

15 billion...

23 billion miles off course now, sir, if my calculations are correct. And they always are.

...(Much corny comedy brilliance)...

Damage estimate?

Well, Captain, it?s easily $27,000,000 worth of damage.

Uh...$27,000,000 worth of damage?! Grrrr!

Well, actually, it?s only one tube that costs fifteen cents, but the service charge is enormous since we're so many light years away from the service area. That is provided and they can find us anyway seeing us we're 200 billion miles off course.

If you've followed this at all, you now know how I feel on most days as I read, watch and listen to the growing absurdities of life. Hurtling off course through time and space.

And now a word from our sponsors?
and you eat it every day

And that's why I take... Damnitall!

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