Curiouser and Curiouser -OR- On Thin Ice

Just so we're straight...The Newt is surging? There is an almost elegant Opposite World symmetry to this. Y'all remember that we're living in Opposite World now don't you? Well, nobody has been more instrumental in molding, shaping and framing the transformation to Opposite World than ol' Newt. He is positively vainglorious about his responsibility in the switcheroo and of course, this being Opposite World it's all the fault of those people for not accepting the natural superiority of Newt's thinking on all matters.

Newt's DNA, muddy bootprints and fingerprints are on and around every single I.E.D. that has propelled this country's long strange trip into O.W.. From filibuster, gridlock and malaise in his rookie year to our present dysfunction, Newt's been there to frame the debate and assign the blame 180° from its source.

His rise and fall and rise eclipse Nixonian in scope and grandeur. His tap-dancing on the mass graves of the American Dream is nothing short of Faustian. His ability to distance himself from the rotting detritus of his wake, the cock-sure aplomb and bombast of his Newtspeak, his pseudonymous imputation of single-minded purpose to his GOPAC movement and his Svengali-like implantation and erasure of historical facts make Newt one bad political motherfucker.

Because this is opposite world, these traits are not negatives, they are his charm.
He rises, not despite, but because of his larger-than-life crafted mythology. He employs Jedi-like powers of persuasion mind-confusion until nothing is certain except his certainty.

He is driven by every wedgie and swirly he most certainly had to endure growing up. His is the retribution of the nerds who even the nerds thought were assholes. His vast experience crafting imaginary alternate worlds where he was in control, inexplicably, made the transition to reality and we've all been affected by the consequences. Because it's OW, he's the bully now. It's all right there in his history books

This time, he promises not to let it go to his head.
Forget all about his official transcript on promises. He has granted himself blanket permission to revise, twist, bend, alter, erase, sanitize and purify the record and isn't afraid to use it.

That makes him the OW logical choice.