Post Debate Riddles -OR- Holy That One Batman

What has two thumbs and doesn't get it?

This guy!


Will the guy with the clear, workable plan please step forward?

Not so fast Quick Straw McDraw.

Sen. McDraw...
Didn't that bailout rescue mission already buy up all those evil
bad mortgages?

"My friend, We buy the evil. We eats the evil. We fix the evil. Make it new and shiny and good all over again. `cuz gosh darn it, we are Americans. Follow me, my friends, I have a secret plan to win this election? I cribbed it off some really smart guy. How do I know he's a smart guy? He assured me he was a smart guy, that he never lies, never makes mistakes and has never met anyone without preconditions. He told me how to do it. That's what this is about my friends. Winning. I'm a winner who knows how to win."

Hmmm Okay... So Senator President-Elect? How do you respond to that?

"How do I respond to what? How does anyone respond to that? I agree?
Except for what he said after he started talking until he was stopped, he made perfect sense to me. Look, this is some fucked up shit. I'm getting a job that no sane person would consider taking. Call me crazy, but I can't think of any way to stick a solution into a gelatin capsule we can all swallow. So I'm not gonna bullshit the voters and start pulling crap out of my ass. I'm still standing up here telling you that I'll take the job. I'll do the job. And I will try to fix it on the fly.
Hell, I might even use some of Mr. McCrankypant's suggestions. I'll troll blog comments if I think there might be a usable idea in there. But I have to get elected and see if there is a wheelbarrow and shovel left before I can make any clear plans."

So who did win the debate last night? I guess that depends on how you define victory?
I can state without reservation; It wasn't me.

Which candidate was more animated? Again it depends on definition. Animation as in movement or animation as in cartoonish? Oops, okay, MeCain won that category hands down.

Which candidate appeared more Presidential? Frankly, it's been so long since we've seen a real one, one who truly displayed our idealized version of Presidential, I think undecided viewers were left to plug both men into their favorite movies that portrayed a President. MeCain seemed most like the President from Escape From New York while Obama dovetailed into
several scripts quite nicely.

Isn't the real question: Which guy made me feel less like Ensign Expendable on Star Trek TOS?
That ONE. The guy who will be the first POTUS whose name ends in a sounded vowel.